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Open Season on Cripples!

Today I was terrorized by three squirt gun-toting youths in the middle of the day on the Red Line. These kids were more than ready (and able) to kick my ass when I tried to stand up for myself. I ended up having to hit the emergency button and get the conductor to pull my ass out of the fire. A couple of weeks ago, an irate cabby spat at me when I didn’t cross the street fast enough for his liking. Don’t worry, gentle reader. He didn’t forget to throw in the obligatory curses such as “Suck my dick!” I hobbled in pursuit of this obnoxious offender to the cabstand on Mccadden. I started yelling righteous indignation at this man when I suddenly realized that he and his twenty or thirty cabby friends from the Motherland could easily knock me over the head and shove me into one of those convenient, nearby car trunks. What would happen next is open to conjecture, but I think we’ve all seen Hostel or Saw or both. I hobbled off to Hollywood Blvd to report the cabby to the barista at Starbucks.

I guess the point that I’m trying to make is NOT that I’m becoming a girly-armed wimp. NO! The point is this: People are despicable. I thought I knew just how despicable. But I didn’t know. Not until I got this cane. It just like that damnable Joni Mitchell song, “I’ve looked at life from both side now.” p.s. If you are curious about the winning digits for the Yellow Cab Miss Congeniality Contest, they are 6681.


About Russell Smith

I was born at the American Hospital in Neuilly-sur-Seine, France. I find inspiration in the lives of so many people from Joan of Arc to Oscar Wilde. While my primary avocation is photography, I also enjoy philosophy, theology and most of all, history. My beloved wife, Robin Anne Smith, who passed away in 2013 is also an inspiration to me. My beloved partner, Dana is also a great support and inspiration to me. I'd be remiss if I did not mention my cats: Natasha, Maxwell, Tigger and Nigel.

6 responses »

  1. Thanks, Jim. You’re the greatest!

  2. i guess there will be no more trips to mexico…lolit is tough to become a pariah of society, be it due to age, physical condition, race, ethnicity, even educational level achieved.but i have known russell for decades and have no doubt he will persevere!

  3. Oh Russell, as I wiped away my tears and desperately tried to hold in leaking fluids from other places, all I could think after reading your story and seeing the accompanying picture was: four legs good, two legs BAD.

  4. That goat was one rough customer, lemme tell you!

  5. The goat is just ignoring you, he isn’t being mean. You look like you could whip anyone you want with that cane. I wouldn’t mess with you!

  6. But who moves to Brooklyn for safety’s sake?


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