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Category Archives: Noise Pollution

My Cross Street Rocks!

And at all hours!

© Russell Smith, 2011

Every Sunday to Thursday evening, they’re out there, pulling over scofflaws- people who run stop signs, exceed 25 mph in a residential area and drivers under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol (DUI). Hollywood, in case you haven’t heard, is a cesspool of homelessness, drugs, crime and tourists. They’ve opened up so many nightclubs that on the weekends it is DUI heaven up in here. And you can quote me on that. The cops don’t really enforce the law, so much as pick up the pieces of people who need some repairs, whether it’s their bodies, their cars or both. The sound of the ghetto birds cheers the heart all through the weekend, along with its close friend the siren-bird whose lilting dulcet sounds can be heard all over Hollywood every night of the week.

© Russell Smith, 2011


There he is, our propellor-driven friend, keeping the skies and streets of Hollywood safe.

© Russell Smith, 2011

Those Annoying Paper Pushers

Dude from Flatbread feels bad about himself

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This man refused to stop pushing his glossy business cards about his lousy flat bread. Everybody else on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams recognizes me. All the fellows with their glossy tri-folds, selling tours? You know them; they want to show you Zsa Zsa Gabor’s house, etc. When they see me, some of them say, “Hi!” Sometimes they are glum, if it’s a slow day. Sometimes they are glum if it’s a busy day. Sometimes they are cheerful. God only knows why. The point is – they recognize me and for the most part, knowing that I am a native, they leave me alone.

This man pushed his stupid glossy card in my face one time too many. He was standing there and swishing his hand back and forth as he walked, acting out with extreme disrespect towards the people who dared pass him on the sidewalk and NOT take a card. Who wants to take a card from somebody who is so obviously sick of what he’s doing? If he hates it so much, then quit. I know that there is 12% unemployment in L.A. but you can always get work, even if it’s cleaning toilets. I’d rather clean toilets than stand on the sidewalk in a state of frustration and humiliation. The take home message here is that nobody can make you feel badly about yourself but you. I’m paraphrasing the great Eleanor Roosevelt who was secretly talking to the Black population of America. It was a preamble to the “I am somebody” speech by Dr. Martin Luther King.

Well on this particular day, I was on my way to CVS to pick up my meds. I was in serious pain and suffering from fatigue as well. When he swished that card in my face and sneered at me, I let it out. One word- NO! I am sure you could hear me all the way from La Brea to Highland. I felt the sidewalk shake under my feet. People were grabbing light posts to keep from falling down. It was a mini-tremblor. He was shocked and terrified, realizing that he was messing with someone who could unleash the wrath of Hell. The next time I saw him, he was smart enough to look the other way as I passed. I gave him dagger eyes, just daring him. Just you try it! I psychically transmitted to him. He left me alone. This should be useful to those who find themselves being harassed by the same beggar every day, or other annoying paper pushers. Just take in a lungful of air and scream in their face with all the fury of, well…a Fury, No, no, a thousand times no!

Update – Concrete garden is quiet.

If you want a reminder of what it was like, just watch the video. If not, then that is all. These cops from Hollywood Station (Wilcox) do so hate to work. And they are so out of shape!

Vae Victus (Woe to the vanquished!) -Latin translation


Day in and day out, I’ve been pointing my handycam at those gaint cranes and warning you all, Beware of Greeks baring gifts, so to speak. Come back in a week or so, and this pathetic block will look like something out of the Marshall Plan. And what of the residents who already live here? Call 1-800-EAT-DIRT.