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Category Archives: Sidewallk

Don’t Fuck With Me! Hollywood Police Community Relations

It’s open season on anybody who isn’t a cop in Hollywood. Who’s got us in the cross-hairs? Why, it’s the police of course. They treat homeless people like dirt. They treat everybody else worse. Don’t let them pull you over or they’ll tow your car at the drop of a hat. Don’t say anything except, “Sir, yes Sir!” or your ass is grass. Any encounter with a Hollywood cop will end in public humiliation at best, a good beating perhaps and even arrest. Say “Cop!” in Hollywood and it’s as bad as yelling “Fire!” People will scatter like ants in the wake of boiling water. Let’s add some multimedia to this posting to give it some meat, or should I say, “edge?”

When I see a black and white police car coming my way, all I do is lower my head in an attitude of complete submission. To do otherwise is to invite hellfire to rain upon my head.

Then let us not forget about the intrusive ghetto birds, also known as police helicopters. Oh, how they stir up the skies above my head, and shine their lights into my pad. They are responsible for many an interrupted night’s sleep.

How fun was that?

Quit Telling me I’m Hell-bound!

Marching Day for the Pentecostals


So what do you think motivates these people? A real need to save souls, spread the gospel, or is it to earn what I call “God Points.” These people are no different from the Catholic Church, which still peddles indulgences. The Catholic form comes in regulating behavior: say the Hail Mary ten times every day and you earn 50 years indulgence! Or something along those lines. They are some suffering from the God delusion and they are trying to push it on others. I find proselytizers annoying, but when I see a crowd like this, I can’t help but laugh.
I’ve accumulated a few funny pictures along the way, so let me present you with the Israelites and Korean Pentecostals, who take the cake for amusing cults.

Korean Pentacostals, © Russell Smith 2011

Israelites, © Russell Smith

The Israelites, © Russell Smith, 2011


So you can see the Pentecostals doing their thing, speaking in tongues, etc. Note the bullhorn near at hand. Now the Israelites got angry with me when I took their picture. Actually only one guy (the Leader?) became agitated. I responded, “Well you are the ones who are looking for attention!” “We’re not looking for attention!” They shouted back in unison, which I found a little creepy, but I said laughing, “You’ve got signs. You don’t want people to look at the signs?” “Get out of here you Devil” said The Leader? getting annoyed at my logic in the face of their outright stupidity, unpatriotic weirdness. I don’t think White people can join this cult, but you never know. There was a Black guy with the Pentecostals. I used to get super annoyed at these proselytizers, and I have them on video saying the stupidest things with me screaming abuse at them. It’s fun to watch but I’m not adding any more media to this post. Hollywood Hugs!

The Artists’ Wall

There is a wall on a building on Highland Ave and someone or somebodies put up art. It changes all the time as the owners of the building tear it down, paint over it and otherwise destroy it. I like to photograph it while there’s time. Here are a couple of examples. I hope you love them as much as I do. If you know where the PowerHouse bar is, then you know what I’m talking about. There’s a terrible Chinese restaurant there too. MSG WARNING! See? Lots of little useful tidbits here on the Hollyblog! See!

© Russell Smith, 2011

© Russell Smith

VIDEO VAULT – RED LINE AND CROSSROADS OF THE WORLD OOOH

Panic in Hollywood

First there was the cult

I don’t know who these morons are. They were standing on the sidewalk (as you can see from the photos) but they objected when I took a picture of a couple of their signs. The second photo shows their leader trying to stop me from filming. They grew very agitated and couldn’t understand that because they were on the sidewalk with signs, then reason dictates that they wanted attention. I wished I’d been running my video camera, but alas. They were videotaping me, so perhaps the whole thing will be captured on YouTube for posterity anyway. Their low-budget frocks are almost endearing. They seemed very earnest and I would have been glad to hear what they think, but I’m Whitie, the blue-eyed Devil. Why can’t we all just get along?

So proud of their signage! ©Russell Smith, 2011

Note the fringe on their frocks! ©Russell Smith, 2011

Then there was the spitter

I saw the man spit at a woman. The woman said he was hitting on her underage daughter and she was trying to make him go away. His unfortunate manner of retaliating against the cock-blocking mother was inappropriate to say the least. He nearly got his ass kicked by the whole neighborhood. What follows are entertaining footage and photographs of the event.

First the videos

Then come the photographs

Figure 1. Restraint

"I have been base." Mercedes, The Count of Monte Cristo, by Dumas

"Run, Rabbit, Run!" John Updike


All we need is rope and a shovel.

The Power of Images

Shall I begin with some gossip?

I saw Andy D. on my own lowbrow street about a month ago in the company of a petite young man with a pretty face. Andy and I locked eyes, and he was so, “Where do I know you from?” He’s a funny man, but deeply troubled. He’s always getting into trouble. I believe he wants to be clean and sober, but the temptations of Hollywood hold him back. If I’ve heard the story once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. Good luck, my friend. Or should I say, “Break a leg?” How do I know he was up to no good? Well, the city erected permanent road blocks along my street which is parallel with Hollywood Blvd. Does that answer your question? If you are from L.A. then that should clear everything up.

Russell gets rejected. Tries again.

Well, Beers & Lambert rejected my six submissions, but the images were shabby and poorly edited. Simple things were amiss like cropping. It’s embarrassing when I think about it now. But hey! We learn from our mistakes. I’ll never enter a contest so late. By the time they’ve reached the deadline, they’ve decided which pieces they want, and which pieces they don’t want.
But all is not lost, gentle readers! I just submitted 6 new pieces to a show right here in Los Angeles. To be exact, I submitted six pieces to LACDA; that is, the Los Angeles Center for Digital Art. I am crossing my fingers. No! Don’t wish me luck! That is bad luck. If all else fails, just tell me to “break a leg.” I entered their snap to grid show which is not a competition, but rather a fund raiser. I haven’t even picked up my suitable for framing copy of the jpeg that I sent down the pike. C’mon Russell! Here’s the image, for your aesthetic appreciation. All Rights Reserved!


ENDORSEMENT

Tom LaBonge- another hit?

I would like to endorse Stephen Box over Tom LaBonge in the upcoming city election. Mr. Box has shown a sincere commitment to “greening” Los Angeles. He is a bicycle activist which is not always a good thing, but he’s thinking about the future. Most politicians just think about lining their pockets. Go to Mr. Box’s web page and compare it to Lefty Labonge’s. You should notice that there is a lack of hucksteria on Mr. Box’s pages, while Mr. LaBonge wants to scare everybody into space suits and freeze themselves for a good one hundred years, give or take. I wonder if he includes his daughter in his diabolical scheme? Bwah ha ha ha ha! I’m sick of Tom LaBonge. He’s so in the pocket of the developers that it isn’t even worth discussing at this point, and how much of the tax payers’ money is going into putting out those semi-talented calendars that he sends out to his poor constituents every year. Why not use that money to set up a scholarship fund? That would be a nice gesture, dontcha think?

A man with a stylist!

The before and after pictures of Stephen Box are courtesy of City Hall Insider.

Hollywood’s Funniest/Scariest Videos

Here’s our first entry, put it under funny

 


The reason this video is so important is that it brings up the issue of the characters and street performers on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. They work so hard, usually under a bright, hot sun. They take their roles seriously and usually just laugh it off when people rip them off. Rip them off? Yes! Tourists will snap their pictures and then scurry off without leaving the role-player a tip. That is egregious. These people have enough money to take a vacation. They should have enough dough to toss a buck at these men and woman. Sometimes I’ve even seen tourists pose and take snapshots of a street character, and then scurry off saying, “No English! No English!” Well, money is the universal language. Just rubbing your thumb against your fingertips indicates that money is in the equation of their interactions. Reason #1 for hating tourists – They rip-off street characters and street performers.

Here’s our second entry, file it under scary


I’ve made it one of my little causes to publish this video far and wide. The faces of the individuals involved are clear and that’s the whole point. Those two bullies should be locked up for a year or two for what they did. See for yourself. Reason #2 for hating tourists- They never know where they’re going. BUT that doesn’t give you the right to rough them up! The saddest part is that the old woman got out of the car thinking she was going to get directions from those two brutes. What a world. What a world.

Like a Bad Penny

They always turn up again†

These poor kids are being forced to stand in the hot sun holding those stupid signs. They are exposed to all kinds of riff-raff on Hollywood Boulevard. Stand on that corner for just half an hour and you will know what I mean. You, the viewer, actually gets to see a moment where some gargantuan in a bra buttonholes one of the girls whose job is to hand out signs.   Another sign holder is an elderly gentleman who is probably lonely, and an obvious target for exploitation. Did you catch those seconds where the lady and her cohort are showing this poor (economically) man how to hold the megaphone while the lady read from the Bible. I mean the Holy Bible. I hope I said it right because I don’t want some Koran-burning, Islamophobes attacking me in an alley here in Hollywood. Artistically I think this is one of the best videos I’ve ever made. Instead of treating the Sun as an enemy, I collaborated with it and allowed it to rather edit the visual effect of the video. Does that make any sense. It reminded me of that made for t.v. movie with Sally Field called Maybe I’ll Come Home in the Spring. The director, Joseph Sargent, has enjoyed a stunning career directing t.v. movies and series. He even directed an episode of Star Trek back in 1966.

Marketing run amok!

†Thank you, Steven King, from “It” — audiobook (2010)